Sunday Afternoon

Today my world is like a long Sunday afternoon
Nothing to do, nowhere to go
In you there is a serene monotony, picturesque in nature
A million words said in silence, a million stories told
A million feelings felt like warm hands intertwined as roots beneath a tree
Motionless, as if in death, there is a connection deeper than life
As all the world’s worries fade away into silent harmony

-unfinished/untitled-

The slip – the tumble – the fall
All results in a fail
From me to you
A constant reminder of my flagrant inadequacies
An inability to do right by you
This inconsiderate youth, blessed with a loyal heart but cursed with wanton hands
Steeped in self-destruction birthed in self-loathed
I remain, your constant misfortune

If, then why

If you are heir to the sky why walk along the earth
Amongst those unfit to draw same breath
Polluting what is,
An unredeemable birthright
In exchange for spoils, which,
As enticing as they may be,
Pale in comparison when weighed against immortality

these hands

These hands will be the death of me
These calloused, unrepentant hands
These vipers with veins that run deep into my soul
These hands that take without giving
Destroy without building
These hands that sit like vultures on a wire
Wretched am I for I cannot control these hands
Or force them to do my bidding
Their strength over-powers my will
Like the hangman’s noose that drags Hyde to hell
Where penance awaits the monster
And those too weak to control emotion and choose to live uninhibited

Game of Hearts

To all who have loved I salute your patience
For man is fickle and cold
His heart is not made for yours to hold
Rather, its design is meant to crumble, like sand, in your hands
While yours, in his, remains
In one piece, or in many
Broken fragments, breathing life into calloused hands
Fighting against all odds to take hold
And escape the thoughtless fall that precedes forgotteness
It is a grim game that hearts play
A battle waged in futility that leaves all scarred who take part
For hearts break even amidst the kindest intentions
And that which one once loved shrivels into obscurity

Jezebel

Sultry and salacious, with skin like seduction
Without unction, her words flow like silk on the river Nile
Her smile was ivory and her heart was crimson,
The skin on the nape of her neck was soft to the touch
Without a blush, she let loose her name
The utterance of which would keep only the purely insane confined to the ground on which he stood
Like the champion of champions, she preyed on the strong
With an iron will that ripped through the being to expose the weak
She was fool’s gold, promise without substance
Still the thought of her alone leaves knees weak, hearts beating,
And ears itching at utterance of the word ‘love’
At the sound of which unbelief disappears like bats in the night sky
And restraint is unfettered,
Leaving hands to lead and touch to do the rest
She, the master of emotion and rational, turns men to pillars
I, strong hearted but not strong willed, am ripped to shreds by her gaze
A damnation born of want,
lust is a powerful thing

Gratitude (For my Mother)

I see you on your knees, and it makes me smile
Because you still take time to think on the littlest of these
Things small in the present, but large in the scope of things
Rarely escape your gaze
Mindfully, you hold my whole world in your hands
A sage and a saint, the wisest of all living things
Your sweat is my sustenance and your blood the fuel
That propels me ever onwards
Until I eclipse that which you have built by your own hands
And achieve those goals whose sole reward is the smile in your eyes
And the enduring utterance of pride upon your lips

If I called you … (a series of unfinished thoughts)

If I called you friend
Would you captain my ship through the darkness
Steering my soul through that which may come
As we chase the things that bind – slaying that which separates
And grow old together and die in each other’s arms

If I called you queen
would you marry me under the light of the full moon
and join me under the cover of sycamore trees
as we make children as bountiful as the desert sand
and grow old together and die in each other’s arms

And if we became enemies
Would you do battle like the righteous
Sparing me that which I deserve
Saving me from damnation garnered by my own secession

For in life we love, unite, but we sometimes pull apart
In-part due to selfishness and a penchant for pain
Thus remains the status of the modern union
But to us I wish an acquaintance only of the former
For all things that come after are wretched and unkind

You Are Like...

You are like love,
Life,
A dew from heaven
The sweetest of all divine blessings
Undeserved, unmerited, unjustified
More than the blood that courses through my veins,
the air that inflates my lungs.
Without you, I would be akin to the animal, kith of the common corpse
Your love is my life
Unearned, undefined,
Simply given, never taken
Always necessary

Do I Ever Cross Your Mind

Do I ever cross your mind
Inside, do i make you cringe or smile
I’ll be the first to admit that, well, there is a hole in the pit, of my stomach
And it burns every time I see an image of that which is you
Or hear those letter which, when strung together, spell out your name
You do cross my mind
As I lie awake in cold rooms, searching for warmth
Drawing endless maps on an unforgiving ceiling
Like lines in sand pointing to what could have been
Hell, I feel trapped, as if in a well, gasping for dear life
Blinded to the path that is before me
Afraid to step forward because of what I leave behind
For to advance would mean the cutting of ties
The forgetting of yesterdays
And the reshaping of tomorrows with different hands,
Different dreams
So do I ever cross your mind as you ponder your fate
And wait for what’s next in line
As what was once ‘we’ drifts off into obscurity

I Feel I Am

I feel I am

Just like a bird with wings clipped, wandering
Aimlessly, like an animated corpse
Staring into the ocean while sun rays sear flesh
And I ponder about tomorrow

Grasping for meaning as thoughts percolate
And feet sink into hopeless sand

Yet, I feel I am
Made to fly, so lift me up
Above the directionless masses
Above chained doors and barred windows
Free to feel as I am

Fresh Starts and Second Chances

I am the wretched, the scorn of my own humanity
Down trodden and down cast
Yet still I rise, undeservedly lifted by unseen hands
Saved from snares I am blinded to,
Pitfalls I have dug by my own senselessness
Yet, senseless I be, I remain chosen
Branded by a mark of gold upon my breast
Touched by the hand of God
Salvage from a future of futility and rebirthed with clean hands
Placed into a life of fresh starts and second chances
Though imprudent in my youth I clutch at this opportunity
Luck overshadow by unwarranted blessing,
The opportunity to re-live life unscathed; unfettered and freed from the ties that bind
These arms to broken promises and sorrowful short-comings
Freed able to grab hold to fresh starts and second chances